Sarcastic Wine
by smutfanficlover
Summary: Phil, Dan and Yulia have been best friends form the very start when they met each other. They are all youtubers, working on a big project -well more like Yulia and Phil are working on it more- As time passes, it gets harder to meet, so Phil and Dan invite Yulia to live in London with them, weeks, months pass and Phil and Dan develop a huge crush on Yulia, what will Yulia do?


Phil's and Dan's flat - 13:45pm

Here I was, in bed with Phil. Not like that. We were making a video on his bed, and ended up somehow twisted around in his sheets. Anyone else would have thought that we were having sex or something, and that's what happened. Dan walked in on us

"Oh my god, jesus christ, my eyes, get a room!" he screamed

"1. We are in a room, 2. We were making a video," I replied sitting up, tidying up my mess of hair.

"Video, a porno?" he replied

"We were doing an Awkward Memories video," Phil said, sitting up, smoothing out his shirt

"Oh," Dan only said, before turning on his heel "I was going to ask if you wanted food?"

I looked over at Phil, whose eyes sparkled.

"Sure," we said in unison, then laughed it off. Getting up from the bed, and following Dan into the kitchen, but unfortunately Dan walked straight into the glass door, making Phil crash into him and me crash into the both of them. I jumped back, cupping my breast

"Damn it, my tits," I whispered in pain, as the two boys stared at me, Dan was about to burst out laughing, but Phil looked confused

"Why are you groping your breasts?" Phil asked, looking horrified making Dan laugh even harder

"You see, when girls develop boobs, there are small babies living in them, so when I crashed into you, they started crying," I said, with a straight face, Dan was on the floor holding his crotch so he wouldn't piss himself as Phil was apologising to my boobs. And then I burst out laughing, telling him it was a joke, and he gave me the are-you-serious face.

The three of us sat around the coffee table watching some random british channel that had a marathon of My Wife And Kids on, we were laughing at a few jokes. While eating some Thai green curry that Dan made. When Phil asked me the most world-changing question,

"So you remember when you were saying you wanted to move to London, but couldn't find a place?" he asked looking down at his plate, as I glanced at him

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well me and Dan, we wanted to ask if you wanted to live with us?" I choked on my chicken, as I thought about it.

"W-What?" after I stopped choking I finally asked him

"I mean it would be easier to do our project that way, and you wouldn't need to take a train from Worthing to here nearly every day, but if you don't want to it's fine," he said quickly, looking kinda awkward,

"Well, if it's fine with the both of you, I don't mind staying here, till I find a place of my own," I said, looking at Dan, asking him if he was alright with this, he just smirked and I sighed. Guys.

After we ate, it was time for me to go home. I wanted to move in with them tomorrow, because it would be more convenient that way, but Phil argued and told me to come today, I was about to win the argument when Dan decided to join in, forcing me to move in today. So I had to take a 2 hour train back home to Worthing, pack my stuff, which mostly included my clothes, make-up and electrical stuff, like my iMac, my vlog camera and my good camera that I used for filming videos for my main channel.

After I finished packing, which took 2 hours, I decided to buy my ticket to London online, which took another 30 minutes, due to my slow brain and laptop. It was an all day ticket which cost me nearly £30, but it meant that I wouldn't miss the train. Then I opened Tumblr, reblogged a lot of pictures, where I stumbled on a hashtag of Phulia, I clicked on it confused. My eyes widened as I found a lot of gifs of my and Phil, just messing about, which most of it looked sexual for some reason. Then there was fan art of us kissing, and then fan fictions. Wow, I will make sure Phil or Dan never see this. But then I stumbled across another tag, Yan, oh god, there was a lot of gif's, of me kissing Dan's cheek as a dare, and him saying, well that was nice. What the actual fuck? They were shipping me with my best friends? I kinda felt sick, but still kept browsing through them.

The phone started to ring, when I was reading one of the sexual fanfictions of me and Dan, to see how messed up the fans really are.

"Hello?" I picked up the phone, scared if it was going to be some weird ass shit fan boy again.

"Yulia? It's been 5 hours, are you ditching us?" Phil asked over the phone, and I looked over at the clock, sure enough it's been 5 hours, it's already 8pm.

"Oh shit, no I just- I'll be there in 2 hours ok?" I said sighing, all I wanted to do was sleep right now, but my friendship was more important,

"Ok," he whispered before hanging up, I put on a jacket and put my laptop next to my iMac in the suitcase, took my money,train ticket and phone, before locking the apartment and heading out.

The train ride took the normal time of 2 hours, but it seemed like the whole night. When I finally arrived, I looked around. Looking for any running people so I won't knock some woman's baby out of her hands. After making sure, I walked straight on, when I heard my name being called, I turned around. Seeing some over excited girl running up to me,

"Oh my god! Yulia, from the Awkward Diaries. It's really you?" she asked nearly shaking

"Yup, I believe that's me," I said smiling up at the girl, when she gave me a hug and I hugged her back

"Can I have a picture?" she asked, being overly excited again, and I nodded posing into my smiling pose. While she snapped the picture, "I heard you're moving in with Dan and Phil? I totally ship Phulia," she grinned

"That's cool- wait how do you know that?" I asked, a bit confused

"Both Dan and Phil kept tweeting about it, it seems they are really excited," yeah twitter I forgot about that,

"Well, it was nice meeting you.."

"Rachel," she finished for me, and I smiled again, giving her a hug, before turning on my heel walking away

"Bye Rachel," I said before walking out of the train station.

The walk to the flat wasn't eventful, just a boring walk. I looked around to see if anyone was stalking me, before I entered the place. Walking up the stairs to Dan and Phil's place. I knocked, waiting like 20s before the door opened, with Phil in 3 towels. I just full out facepalmed myself

"Phil, what?" I just questioned, as he stepped aside for me to walk in.

"I was about to dry my hair," he whined, and I sighed "can you dry it for me?" he asked, and I nodded, feeling bad for interrupting their lives.

We walked into Phil's bedroom, his hair dryer set up. He sat down on the bed, his back facing me, as I took the hair dryer in my hand. I turned it on, feeling like this a setup to some sort of prank by Dan, I pointed the dryer to the side, but it didn't spray anything, so that was all good. I started to dry Phil's hair, smiling to myself, humming a song in my head. When his hair was all dry, I turned the dryer off. Placing it down, and Phil's head leaned down onto my chest.

"You okay?" I asked, a little confused,

"Yeah, just... need a hug," he whispered, and I wrapped my arms around his naked shoulders,

"You sure you're okay?

"Yeah... Just thought you were ditching us again..." he said, and I cringed, remembering what I did in the past

"That was a dick move of me, I won't ever do it again," I whispered, tightening the hug, laying my chin on his black hair. We sat like this for a while, until Phil fell asleep. I didn't know what to do, so I awkwardly folded the blanket over him, before walking out to take a shower.

On the way I met with Dan, who was on his laptop, probably browsing through Tumblr. I decided to be civil and talk to him for a bit,

"Hey," I said, but he didn't reply, there was like a 2 minute silence. I decided to stand up and walk away, when Dan spoke up

"Did you see the hashtag, Yan on tumblr?" he asked, and I kinda stopped in an awkward position

"No... why?" I lied

"Well it's a shipping between me and you, and I read a fanfic. Now I want to make a video, of you reacting to this fic," he said smiling, and I gulped

"S-sure, we can do that tomorrow," I said, walked off.

I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water hit my face. Washing today off me. When I stepped out of the shower, I wrapped a damp towel around myself, looking into the mirror. On my neck, there was a hickey. It was kinda faced, I just stared at it, where could I have gotten that from, some one night stand? The door opened, revealing Dan. We just kinda froze,

"Oh jesus, sorry. I thought you were- damn it, I'll just- um go," He quickly left the bathroom, I just quickly dried myself off, and put on my pyjamas, before letting myself into the guest bedroom. It kinda was nearly my room, because I have slept over here, a lot of times. I laid down on the bed. Opening twitter.

**Dan Howell** _ danisnotonfire 10m_

Guess who I just saw naked?

Dan's tweet was at the top of my twitter, I grunted, really? I tweeted him back saying 'I do own twitter you know that right? danisnotonfire'

after a few seconds he tweeted back 'Busted TheAwkwardDiaries' well, that was fun. I dropped my phone down, and lay down in the bed, falling asleep.

Someone was knocking on my door, I rubbed my eyes, opening my phone, to see it was 4am. What the hell? I stepped out of the bed and made my way up to the door, opened it, to see Phil, and Dan. Who were shaking,

"Are you guys okay?" I asked, worried.

"Yeah... we had a bad dream..." Phil said, looking away embarrassed, I sighed, fucking two grown men can't handle a freaking nightmare? I relaxed and opened my door wider, letting the boys in who laid down on either side of the bed

"I want to laugh, but cry at the same time," I whispered to myself

"We left the middle for you," Dan said, and I nearly burst out laughing as I climbed in the middle of them,

"Touch me, and I'm cutting your dicks off," I said before closing my eyes.


End file.
